CORONATINE

CORONATINE DAY 3
*Sent home from work because I was exposed to my husband 3 days before… turns out he’s positive for the Rona.
*Cried a lot and ate a cheeseburger
*Watched The Real Housewives.

CORONATINE DAY 4
*Parked at the orange cones in front of the Heath Dept. Secretly wondered if my fine would be doubled for speeding out of the parking lot.
*Had my nose tickle-tortured. Twice. Rapid test was negative. Results of regular test will be a couple of days.
*Had the kid’s nose tickle-tortured. He sneezed a snot ball the size of a hurricane onto the dash of my car. Rona’s not what’s gonna hurt him.
*Ate a heap of leftover orange chicken right out of the leftovers bowl. Twice.
*Watched countless episodes of The Real Housewives.
*Continually took my temperature. Quit watching for fever; turns out I’m cold-hearted. Shocker.
*Played relaxing music and went to sleep early. OK, might’ve been some medication involved.

CORONATINE DAY 5
*Awoke at the butt crack of dawn because I fell asleep so stinking early.
*Weighed myself. Swore off cheeseburgers and orange chicken.
*Chose different footwear so I don’t cause permanent orthopedic problems from shuffling around in the same pair of slippers for 14 days
*Checked all the closets and drawers for something to organize. Nope – still good from March’s shutdown.
*Sorted the mail instead, all three bills.
*Opened the door and yelled “UNCLEAN” at the squirrels. Practicing for the UPS man when the Amazon binge kicks in.
*The kid scowled at me for turning on the light while he was doing schoolwork. For the love.
*It’s 11:19 am. I happen to know that about 10 cities have Real Housewives. That should keep me sane.
*signing off as “Redneck Housewives of Johnson County”.

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