Molly the rescue dog and I just spent an hour soaking up the sun on the deck. I chose to engage in a conversation with her about Ludwig van Beethoven. I wanted to hook her with an intro to the St. Bernard Beethoven and it looked promising. I moved carefully to Beethoven’s fifth symphony because I knew my vocal rendition of the orchestral piece might startle her. I also knew that I would definitely break out into the much more tasteful remake for Saturday Night Fever, cleverly titled “A Fifth of Beethoven”. Well, folks, you can’t do the B side of Night on Disco Mountain without morphing into some Travolta dance moves. In my case, I just moved my arms and legs while sitting in the deck chair. Of course I had to include the part where he drops to both knees, only my part was just quickly knocking my knees together while sitting in the chair. This was something that Molly had a connection to… she thought I wanted to play pounce so she hurled up and nearly knocked me out of my deck chair. The only recovery was to move on to Für Elise. I began with the “dum dum dum” style of humming the melancholy melody and thought for the bridge I would switch to “doo doo doo”. This prompted Molly to move melodically into the yard and take a crap. To her credit, she never took her eyes off of me which was somewhat unsettling. Altogether, I felt defecated-I-mean-defeated so I came back into the house and had a little chat with the bust of Beethoven that’s sitting on my piano. He didn’t respond. Therefore I sat down to tickle the ivories with an “I’ll show them” slaughtered attempt at the astounding 1970’s hit by Brotherhood of Man, “Angelo”. Later today I think we’ll try this again with my favorite dedication to the unsinkable: “Molly Wolly Doodle All the Day”. She’s used to me singing that one to her so I think I’ll be safe from a pounce. Bonus: she’s already had her daily constitution.

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