There is a difference between humility and humiliation. A comparative example: Humility can describe aging gracefully. Humiliation is when that age comes with the need for a pill organizer. It’s not so much about remembering which pills to take and when… for me it was remembering if I took them at all. The days I found myself staring into the medicine cabinet trying to remember if I took my pills were adding up and the sum wasn’t in anyone’s favor. Yes there are happy pills in there… and calm the heck down pills… and may cause drowsiness pills. You get the picture. It wasn’t pretty. It was time to sort those puppies and forget about remembering to not forget. So I dug out the travel box and found a pill organizer. I proudly popped my pills in there and thought, “problem solved.”

Except there was another problem. The next level of humiliation hell came when I started getting my AM and PM pills mixed up. There were a couple of days that I could barely keep my eyes open and people noticed that I was “calmer” than usual. I’m not an AM person anyway. Add morning grumpiness to aging eyesight and it’s not a far reach to open the wrong side of the pill organizer. So I leveled up and color coded. Thank you sharpie! Orange for morning, blue for night. 

I’ve been rolling along on the balanced wellness highway for a few months now. Drowsiness at night, happiness in the morning, calm when needed; all is right in the world. Until my pill organizer broke. At least it was the Sunday compartment and I had a week to order a new one from Amazon before it would need to be filled again. PS: I found one that is already different colors for morning and night. Well worth the $3.98 plus free $129.00 Amazon Prime shipping. And yes, I know they sell those things at WalMart. And no, there aren’t enough calm the heck down pills in my medicine cabinet to help me tolerate a trip inside Wally World when there’s the option of a grocery pickup parking lot.

My new pill organizer will be delivered to my doorstep Thursday. Bonus: I’m also getting my old eyes lasered Thursday. I should be good until it’s time to shop for a shower chair. 

I’m thankful for my pill organizer. I’m thankful that I can clearly see the difference between night and day. Sometimes, life isn’t as clear as that. Sometimes one day runs into the other and sometimes the nights seem endless. Sometimes our spiritual life gets similarly muddled. I’ve been on highs that brought me to the edge of complacency. I’ve been in darkness that was palpable. I want it sorted and easily identified but it isn’t always that simple. I struggle with spiritual blindness and confusion and forgetfulness. I need God’s Holy Spirit to help sort things out, to nudge me when I’m lacking discipline, to open my eyes to what’s right and what’s wrong. 

I’m thankful for my pill organizer. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit helping me sort through the days and nights. Are you confused? Forgetful? Complacent? I pray your well being is balanced. I pray that, day or night, you are keenly aware that God loves you. 

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